一樣是在Sex On My Desk部落格裡的文章。部落格主人不保證下面的這個Post是真實的,基本上這個Post的來源算是一種網路上的分類廣告裡面的交友部分,像是women seeking men那種類別等等。不過這篇(特別是回答)真的是很經典,放上來娛樂大家一下。怕有人看到太多應文字就不想繼續看,會錯失閱讀這篇文章的樂趣,所以我大概的翻譯了一下。結果還沒翻譯完就從朋友那聽說這個文章(笑話?)已經用電子郵件流傳開了,只是想說我都快翻譯完了,所以也沒去跟她要她的電子郵件翻譯版來對照。

  如果你還沒收過這個電子郵件,那就繼續讀下去吧,請一定要看下面回覆的部分,真是經典! 讓我一邊翻譯一邊狂笑。順道想到當初在唸MBA時,常講什麼都要亂凹商業術語來形容,反正B School就是訓練BS用的嘛! 不管這是真實事件或是人為撰寫的笑話,都還挺值得參考的! 以後考試閱讀測驗選這種文章,教育價值會比較高吧!

What am I doing wrong? 我做錯了什麼?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

我已經懶得拐灣抹角。我是個漂亮(非常漂亮)的25歲女孩。我口才好又優雅。我並不是來自紐約。我想要嫁給一個至少年薪五十萬的男人。我知道這聽起來像什麼,但是請記住年薪一百萬在紐約市只是中產階級而已,所以我並不認為我的條件太過分。

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

請問這個板上有任何男人年薪五十萬以上嗎? 還是有任何老婆? 可以告訴我一些訣竅嗎? 我曾經跟年薪約二十到二十五萬的生意人約會過,但這就是我所碰到的瓶頸。年薪二十五萬並沒有辦法讓我住在中央公園西區。我知道有一個在我瑜珈班的女人嫁給一個投資銀行家,並住在Tribeca,而她並沒有我漂亮,也不是個天才。所以她到底做對了什麼事? 我要如何才能跟她一樣?

Here are my questions specifically:

這裡是一些我特別想要問的問題 :

* Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

* 你們這些單身有錢男人都在哪打發時間? 請明確的告訴我 – 酒吧, 餐廳, 健身房

* What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

* 你們在找什麼樣特質的伴侶? 請誠實, 你們不會傷害我的感覺

* Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

* 我需要特別針對任何年齡範圍嗎 (我25歲)?

* Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

* 爲什麼有些很很平凡的女人住在上西城區過著奢華的生活? 我看過真的很平凡無聊什麼也沒有的女人嫁給非常有錢的男人。我看過美的要命的女人在東村的單身酒吧裡。這到底是爲什麼?

* Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

* 我需要針對哪些工作? 每個人知道-律師, 投資銀行家,醫生. 到底這些傢伙到底賺多少錢? 他們都在哪打發時間? 那些做避險基金的傢伙都在哪裡打發時間?

* How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

* 你們怎麼決定是婚姻還是單純女朋友? 我的目的是婚姻

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

請收起你的取笑,我是很誠實的在這裡坦白。大部分的美麗女人都很膚淺,但至少我很坦白這一點。我不會開這樣的條件如果我配不上這些人,不管是在外貌上,文化上,教養上,打理家裡。

It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

請不要回覆這篇文章有關其他的服務或是商業廣告。


THE ANSWER 回覆

Dear Pers-431649184:

親愛的Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

我看到你貼的佈告非常有興趣,也認真的思考了你的困境。我提供下列對於你的處境的分析。首先,我並不是再浪費你的時間,我合乎你對薪水的要求-我每年賺超過五十萬。下面是我怎麼看待這件事。

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

你的提議,對一個你預期中的對象像我來說,毫無疑問的是一個很糟糕的交易。我來解釋為什麼。除掉所有的狗屁廢話,你所建議的是一個簡單的交易 : 你提供你的美貌我提供我的錢。是的,就是這麼簡單。但卻有個問題,你的美貌會消逝但是我的錢會繼續存在… 事實是,有非常大的機會我的所得會繼續增加,但我可以十分肯定的是,你沒有辦法變得更美!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

所以,以經濟學的術語來說,你是一個會折舊的資產而我是一個賺錢的資產。你甚至不只是個折舊資產,甚至你是會加速折舊的! 讓我解釋一下,你現在25歲,並可能在未來的五年內會繼續這麼漂亮火辣,但會一年比一年糟。然後你會逐漸凋謝,在35歲時完全被枯萎!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

所以,以華爾街的術語,我們會稱你為投機性部位,而不是買進持有部位… 因此有個難題… 婚姻。”買你”(照你所要求的)並不太合乎商場上的常識,所以我寧願用租賃的方式。為了避免讓你認為我很殘忍,所以我會這麼解釋,既然如果我失去了我的錢,你也會離開,所以當你的美貌消逝之後,我也需要一個退路。就是這麼簡單。所以要讓這個交易合理的會是約會,而非婚姻。

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

另外,在我職業生涯的早期,我就學到有關於市場效率。所以我會疑惑爲什麼一個像你一樣”有口才,有教養,又十分美麗”的女孩會沒有辦法找到你的金主。我很難相信如果你真有你宣稱的那麼美好的話,五十萬年薪沒有找到你,就算只是為了試用。

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

順道一提,你總是可以找到方法賺你自己的錢,這樣我們就不會有這段困難的對話。

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

除了我上面所說的,我必須要說你的方向正確,典型的拉高倒貨。我希望這對你有幫助,另外如果你願意接受像是租賃的交易,請讓我知道。
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source: http://sexonmydesk.ivillage.com/love/2007/10/if_you_want_a_rich_man_deedle.html

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