阿力賢的生活紀錄......[マ・セシルド。私の世界をさえぎった,私は幸福を見た]

Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands; how did your lips feel on mine?

Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks, the white statues that have neither voice nor sight.
I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten your eyes.

Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory of you. I live with pain that is like a wound; if you touch me, you will do me irreparable harm.

Your caresses enfold me, like climbing vines on melancholy walls.

I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to glimpse you in every window.

Because of you, the heady perfumes of summer pain me; because of you, I again seek out the signs that precipitate desires: shooting stars, falling objects. 

「你為何如此急速地將你的溫柔之火傾洩於我生命冰涼的枝葉上？

  你將記得你採摘過的花束，
  陰影與寂靜之水的花束，
  彷彿綴滿泡沫的石頭般的花束。

  那段時光似乎前所未有，又似乎一向如此：
  我們去到那無一物守候的地方，
  卻發現一切事物都在那兒守候。」

Pablo Neruda.

春天三月，卻無緣看見失控綻放的櫻花。

也好，在美麗突然死去時，總會不忍地擠出幾滴鮮紅的眼淚悼念你想悼念的，就算你再怎麼抗拒偽善，這點功夫還是得具備。

心靈，在現實世界的人們中，如同李維史陀所說只是動物排便的研究，如同撰寫憂鬱的熱帶的心情，是一種對現實不滿的鬱卒，像是酒後的嘔吐物般污穢不值。

不知名的店前養了缸蓮花，池裡戲魚悠游。

藻根脫離深土控制，從清澈可見的峽溝底虛脫般地竄伸上來，接近眼簾，卻漫成一大片綠色漁網，將眼簾蓋住。

反諷的是，終於自由的綠藻，竟嘗試控制我的視線，拒絕眼前溫暖陽光進入。

頓時胸口像缺氧似地劇烈振顫。

無數亡靈壓著脖子，慢慢將我拉回灰色漩渦的世界─一個未知恐懼或喜悅的世界。

這就是人性心靈，無時無刻地想控制可以控制或無法控制的東西。

Deculion, a name from March 1st, always knuckles under to those whose hearts are under the control of themselves.