Shackle

最近覺得心情很亂
                                                                               
老是覺得男友變懶了
                                                                               
老是覺得男友因為課業冷落我
                                                                               
老是覺得男友不夠愛我
                                                                               
老是覺得男友對我不夠好
                                                                               
老是覺得我在男友心中不重要
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
沉澱了心情之後
                                                                               
好好的想了一想之後...
                                                                               
                                                                               
男友如果真的變懶了
                                                                               
為何明明第二天就可以見面

我晚上傳簡訊給他
                                                                               
就算字很少  他還是會好好的回我?
                                                                               
                                                                               
如果男友真的因為課業冷落我
                                                                               
為何他還要跟我道歉
                                                                               
說他很抱歉最近因為課業忙碌沒有跟我約會
                                                                               
說他之後會好好補償我  請我吃飯?
                                                                               
                                                                               
如果男友不夠愛我
                                                                               
為何我生理期來的時候
                                                                               
他幫我買的早餐  飲料都自動變成去冰
                                                                               
我跟他抱怨  他還說為了我他的飲料也跟著去冰?

如果男友對我不夠好
                                                                               
為何明明就不順路又要花很多時間
                                                                               
他還是硬要陪我走回宿舍
                                                                               
把我排進他的時間計畫表中?
                                                                               
                                                                               
如果男友不夠重視我
                                                                               
為何在察覺我表情異樣的時候
                                                                               
會一直問我怎麼了
                                                                               
擔心我是不是吃醋
                                                                               
問我是不是又胡思亂想了?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我發現  我是得了傳說中的公主病了
                                                                               
只不過是男友沒有像一開始那麼積極
                                                                               
只不過是沒有那麼多時間好好甜蜜的約會
                                                                               
只不過是男友專注於他的課業
                                                                               
我就以為   他不愛我了...
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
慢慢發現  我會失望  常常是因為一開始就過度期望
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
生病的時候以為他會發現
                                                                               
但是其實如果沒有很嚴重
                                                                               
我不說的話誰會知道?
                                                                               
                                                                               
早上遲到以為他會再找時間叫我起床
                                                                               
但是卻忘了  他剛起床的時候就叫過我一次了
                                                                               
是我自己愛賴床  遲到要自己負責
                                                                               
                                                                               
不小心受傷的時候
                                                                               
想說他應該會溫柔的安慰我吧
                                                                               
沒想到換來的是他的碎碎唸
                                                                               
說什麼不要去想就不會痛了
                                                                               
他說他也常常受傷
                                                                               
這種傷沒有很嚴重

一切都是因為一開始就過度期望
                                                                               
希望對方怎麼做  希望對方做什麼
                                                                               
但是卻忘了  兩個腦袋兩顆心
                                                                               
是不一樣的
                                                                               
我不說  他怎麼知道我要什麼?
                                                                               
而我總是不肯先說  總覺得說出來了
                                                                               
他做的就不是真心的舉動了
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
但是
                                                                               
如果不是真心的  為何還要照著我的希望去做?
                                                                               
以前的我
                                                                               
一點風吹草動就動搖
                                                                               
一點小事情就懷疑對方
                                                                               
現在我要學會
                                                                               
不要過度期望
                                                                               
不要過度依賴
                                                                               
他有他的事情要忙
                                                                               
我也有我的事情要做
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
女人要學會好好愛自己
                                                                               
談戀愛  是讓自己變美變成熟

而不是幼稚的鑽牛角尖
                                                                               
學會好好充實自己
                                                                               
學會獨立  不要依賴
                                                                               
內涵和外表都進步了
                                                                               
相信我們一定會有美好的結果