近來頻頻收到老虎航空特惠機票的廣告信,點進去一看,驚見從達爾文飛新加坡,單程只要四十九點九九澳幣!深知好康跟歲月一樣不待人的師奶,當下就在網上歡樂的進行起訂票程序,編織著明年回台的夜市巡迴之夢,但是!現實是殘酷的,尤其是對沒有信用卡卻生活在現代的遠古類人猿來說...


因為在老虎航空的網站訂票必須要用信用卡,因此為了買機票,師奶唯有死死吓摸摸鼻子走去申請信用卡,其實師奶一早已經上網比較過各卡,最後目標鎖定免年費的
Virgin credit card,打開首頁之後馬上志得意滿志在必得的直接按下Apply now,此時出現了一頁說明如下(中文的部分是師奶自行加上的,也許又有錯誤,還請見諒與指教):


   
  
   


The eligibility check.

No matter who you go with when applying for a card, a credit assessment system is used to check your financial situation. National credit debt is currently at a record high and bankruptcy is on the rise, so as responsible lenders it's up to us to ensure we're doing everything we can to prevent our customers getting into hot water.

What you need to do on this page.

Before you dive into the application form please check your eligibility for a card by scanning the lists below.

You MAY NOT qualify for a card if this is you.如您符合以下項目,則可能不具申請資格

  • I rent/board. 我淫賤(並學周星馳跪地自掌嘴)租屋而居或寄人籬下
  • I'm a homeowner (or paying off the home loan) and have been living at that property for less than two years. 我是屋主(或正在繳房貸)且在該物業尚未住滿兩年
  • I earn less than $40,000 a year after tax (excluding super). 我的年收入稅後低於四萬澳幣(不包括勞退金)
  • I can't prove my income with payslips or an income tax assessment. 我無法提供薪資單等文件來證明我的收入
  • I've been with my current employer for less than one year. 我在目前的工作尚未待滿一年

 

You WON'T qualify for a card if this is you.如您符合以下項目,將不具申請資格

  • I'm younger than 18. 我未滿十八歲卜卜脆 (早就過了八百年啦!)
  • I'm not a permanent Australian resident. 我不是澳洲的永久居民(中箭落馬!)
  • I have a naughty debt record.我有頑皮不良的信用紀錄 (我只知道我的存款最近很頑皮的直直落...)

所以結論就是:頂你個肺!老娘根本沒有申請他們家信用卡的資格啊!這種錯愕,就像...當覺得自己終於做好準備,且好不容易鼓起勇氣向金城武表白之後,卻被猛的發了一張好人卡,是一樣的感覺吧!!夾雜著羞愧與無奈、不甘與心酸,啊~果然金城武還是只可遠觀而不可褻玩焉哪...

我不但租屋,而且買樓之日遙遙無期,更別指望這份薪水領心酸的行政打雜工作,有一天能調薪到年收四萬以上!雖說存款銀行ANZ寄過信用卡申請書來,試試看申請的話也許有機會成功,但是我處理過幾次公司老闆ANZ的信用卡帳單,發現當月刷卡要是超過額度,是會被狠扣三十五澳幣的啊!貪小便宜啥都吃但絕不肯吃虧的師奶,哪可能跟這種銀行無媒苟合發展進一步的關係呢!

這下看來,師奶還是得自己認栽,滾回我的山頂洞裡,繼續當個類人猿算了!
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